Be what you is...

I’m sitting here this morning, yes it is morning, sad as it seems that I am not asleep, listening to Peter snore on the couch, and thinking about life and what it means to live. I’ve been reading blogs and looking at Facebook and thinking that life is an interesting thing. There is an old country song that says, “It takes all kinds of people to make a world” (I even double checked, it was sung by Roy Orbison). That is true, it does take all kinds of people, and believe me there are all kinds of people in this world. We each have a different idea of what life should be like, different definitions for things, different ideas of how things should be done, different paradigms that define the way we see things, different views of the same situations, different everything. It’s good to be different, to be true to yourself, within reason. But who’s to say what’s within reason? We have cultural norms which provide certain guidelines, or other belief sets which provide a pattern for living, but there is still a considerable area of grey where our differences may be expressed.

One person looks at something and says it’s this way, another says it’s that way. It may be that they are both right/wrong. Many times there is no one right answer. I used to question myself because I would attempt to judge myself by some standard that I thought was out there and I didn’t understand it. I thought it was there, but it was a figment of my imagination. Yet, during that time that I thought it was there, it placed a great weight on me because I thought I would never measure up. It took me a while to finally get it through to myself that the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is our own, but not one that we create based on what we think other’s are thinking, one that actually makes sense in our heart of hearts. We should never be made to feel worse about ourselves because of our standard, apart from recognizing that there is constant and continual room for improvement. We can and should acknowledge other’s influences on the creation of our standard. If there is someone you admire and respect, it’s okay to seek for those in them that you admire and respect, but tailor it to you and make it make sense in your life.

Think of Aesop’s fables; the one about the crow who admired the peacocks and finally, in an attempt to be as fine as the birds he admired, he stuck peacock feathers into his tail to be like them. It didn’t work of course and they mocked and ridiculed him. The crow was just as fine a bird by being the best crow that he could be, he didn’t need to pretend or attempt to be any other type of bird. I think that (and this is my view entirely) people need to be okay with who/where they are at the current time to have strength and inner encouragement to work and move forward along the line to reaching one’s standard. We should be constantly seeking to improve, but according to our own strengths and desires, not someone else’s. I also think it is important to determine some specifics in our standards and our quest for improvement. Businesses recognize the benefit of achieving milestones in the completion of things, why should the principle differ for individuals. We are what we make of ourselves. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” Are you happy with what you get? If so, great, keep going. If not, what needs to be done differently? Do you actually know what you want to get so that you’ll be able to know what you need to do to get it? It’s very unlikely that you’ll ever be successful by judging yourself by another’s standard because our paradigms are very different, and that’s ok.

We are all living, and while our lives are intertwined and we impact those around us, we are better off living our lives the best that we can. Like we learn from the movie Cool Runnings, if you walk/talk/are Jamaican, you better bobsled Jamaican. If you are you, the best you that you can be, is you, not your interpretation of someone else’s version of what you think they think you should be. If that sounds confusing, good, it should be. I can be very confusing to try to wrap your mind around figuring out what you think other’s think you should think. Think for yourself, create your own standard, but create it and then work to be it. One of my favorite quotes sums it up, “You got to be what you is, ‘cause if you be what you ain’t, you ain’t what you is.”

Random thoughts

I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately, in response to events, reading blogs, facebook, comments, etc. That’s not to say that I don’t have thoughts other times as well, it’s just that, of late, my thoughts are weighed down. I’ve never really been much of a person to share my thoughts and feelings, and I’m not sure I’m very good at it. I do want to share some things, not because I think they’ll be of value to anyone but myself, but only because I think if I don’t share, I’ll have a mental breakdown. I may have one anyway, but I do want to try to avoid it, I don’t have time for it.

To start with, I’d like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a song from the movie “Paint Your Wagon” if you haven’t seen it, see it. The words are these, “Where’m I goin’ I don’t know, when will I get there, I ain’t certain, all’s I know is I am on my way. … Oh, who gives a damn I’m on my way.” (Hope no one is offended)

Many of my thoughts have centered on our purpose in life and the journey we make during life. We are all on our way, most of us do know where we are going, and most of us have people who do care that we are on the way. Many people don’t know and don’t care where they are going and really don’t give a damn about those around them. Knowing where you are going and that you are on your way makes a difference, it truly does and just as much is knowing that people care.

I gave a talk recently in which I referred to the cartoon Dora that I “get” to watch with the kids occasionally. It is simplistic in its approach, after all, it’s for children. I used to get bothered by its simplicity, and would get caught up in telling myself that it isn’t that simple. Then, I found myself questioning why can’t it be that simple? The Lord wants us to be like children, the beauty of the gospel is in its simplicity, children know it, but because we adults like to complicate things, we try to complicate everything, even if it could and should be simple.

Life does get complicated, and busy, and stressful, and we get anxious, and nervous about things, and wonder which the heck way am I going and how did I end up going this way when I thought I was actually going another way and how do I … well, you get the idea. It can be hard to take a deep breath and untangle events and circumstances and things we need to do and get back to a simple view of life. It can take time to sort through things and get them organized, but it is well worth it.

Let’s see, where are my thoughts taking me? Into depths and realms that I would frankly rather not explore. I don’t like being or feeling vulnerable. I am uncomfortable at times with greater depths of emotions. Life can be predictable in so far as it is unpredictable and that things are guaranteed to change. This can knock us off our feet at times, but we all have a helping hand before us. As the young women’s song says, “Walk tall you’re a daughter, a child of God. Be strong please remember who you are. Try to understand, you’re part of His great plan. He’s closer than you know, reach up, He’ll take your hand.” And so, I’m reaching up, because He knows what I need, He knows what I’m feeling even if I can’t express it. Life may be complicated, but the gospel is simple, truth is simple. I’m on my way, I know where I’m going, and some people care, what more do I need?