Random thoughts

I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately, in response to events, reading blogs, facebook, comments, etc. That’s not to say that I don’t have thoughts other times as well, it’s just that, of late, my thoughts are weighed down. I’ve never really been much of a person to share my thoughts and feelings, and I’m not sure I’m very good at it. I do want to share some things, not because I think they’ll be of value to anyone but myself, but only because I think if I don’t share, I’ll have a mental breakdown. I may have one anyway, but I do want to try to avoid it, I don’t have time for it.

To start with, I’d like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a song from the movie “Paint Your Wagon” if you haven’t seen it, see it. The words are these, “Where’m I goin’ I don’t know, when will I get there, I ain’t certain, all’s I know is I am on my way. … Oh, who gives a damn I’m on my way.” (Hope no one is offended)

Many of my thoughts have centered on our purpose in life and the journey we make during life. We are all on our way, most of us do know where we are going, and most of us have people who do care that we are on the way. Many people don’t know and don’t care where they are going and really don’t give a damn about those around them. Knowing where you are going and that you are on your way makes a difference, it truly does and just as much is knowing that people care.

I gave a talk recently in which I referred to the cartoon Dora that I “get” to watch with the kids occasionally. It is simplistic in its approach, after all, it’s for children. I used to get bothered by its simplicity, and would get caught up in telling myself that it isn’t that simple. Then, I found myself questioning why can’t it be that simple? The Lord wants us to be like children, the beauty of the gospel is in its simplicity, children know it, but because we adults like to complicate things, we try to complicate everything, even if it could and should be simple.

Life does get complicated, and busy, and stressful, and we get anxious, and nervous about things, and wonder which the heck way am I going and how did I end up going this way when I thought I was actually going another way and how do I … well, you get the idea. It can be hard to take a deep breath and untangle events and circumstances and things we need to do and get back to a simple view of life. It can take time to sort through things and get them organized, but it is well worth it.

Let’s see, where are my thoughts taking me? Into depths and realms that I would frankly rather not explore. I don’t like being or feeling vulnerable. I am uncomfortable at times with greater depths of emotions. Life can be predictable in so far as it is unpredictable and that things are guaranteed to change. This can knock us off our feet at times, but we all have a helping hand before us. As the young women’s song says, “Walk tall you’re a daughter, a child of God. Be strong please remember who you are. Try to understand, you’re part of His great plan. He’s closer than you know, reach up, He’ll take your hand.” And so, I’m reaching up, because He knows what I need, He knows what I’m feeling even if I can’t express it. Life may be complicated, but the gospel is simple, truth is simple. I’m on my way, I know where I’m going, and some people care, what more do I need?