You know how they say that the only certain things in life are death and taxes? Well, I think that a few more things are inevitable in this life:
Most puppies will look cute;
Kids will be natural helpers if you can stand to let them;
Growth and decline in their natural order, both sometimes sad;
When a wife/mother completes something, the natural forces in the home embodied by spouse and children will unite and conspire against her to undo what she has labored to do;
Few things remain 'done';
Change is constant;
If you were born, you will die;
Kids/dogs will make messes and get dirty;
Love is not a destination, it is a journey;
The purpose of living is to learn;
We will all make mistakes;
And last but not least for now, life will go on.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Be what you is...
I’m sitting here this morning, yes it is morning, sad as it seems that I am not asleep, listening to Peter snore on the couch, and thinking about life and what it means to live. I’ve been reading blogs and looking at Facebook and thinking that life is an interesting thing. There is an old country song that says, “It takes all kinds of people to make a world” (I even double checked, it was sung by Roy Orbison). That is true, it does take all kinds of people, and believe me there are all kinds of people in this world. We each have a different idea of what life should be like, different definitions for things, different ideas of how things should be done, different paradigms that define the way we see things, different views of the same situations, different everything. It’s good to be different, to be true to yourself, within reason. But who’s to say what’s within reason? We have cultural norms which provide certain guidelines, or other belief sets which provide a pattern for living, but there is still a considerable area of grey where our differences may be expressed.
One person looks at something and says it’s this way, another says it’s that way. It may be that they are both right/wrong. Many times there is no one right answer. I used to question myself because I would attempt to judge myself by some standard that I thought was out there and I didn’t understand it. I thought it was there, but it was a figment of my imagination. Yet, during that time that I thought it was there, it placed a great weight on me because I thought I would never measure up. It took me a while to finally get it through to myself that the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is our own, but not one that we create based on what we think other’s are thinking, one that actually makes sense in our heart of hearts. We should never be made to feel worse about ourselves because of our standard, apart from recognizing that there is constant and continual room for improvement. We can and should acknowledge other’s influences on the creation of our standard. If there is someone you admire and respect, it’s okay to seek for those in them that you admire and respect, but tailor it to you and make it make sense in your life.
Think of Aesop’s fables; the one about the crow who admired the peacocks and finally, in an attempt to be as fine as the birds he admired, he stuck peacock feathers into his tail to be like them. It didn’t work of course and they mocked and ridiculed him. The crow was just as fine a bird by being the best crow that he could be, he didn’t need to pretend or attempt to be any other type of bird. I think that (and this is my view entirely) people need to be okay with who/where they are at the current time to have strength and inner encouragement to work and move forward along the line to reaching one’s standard. We should be constantly seeking to improve, but according to our own strengths and desires, not someone else’s. I also think it is important to determine some specifics in our standards and our quest for improvement. Businesses recognize the benefit of achieving milestones in the completion of things, why should the principle differ for individuals. We are what we make of ourselves. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” Are you happy with what you get? If so, great, keep going. If not, what needs to be done differently? Do you actually know what you want to get so that you’ll be able to know what you need to do to get it? It’s very unlikely that you’ll ever be successful by judging yourself by another’s standard because our paradigms are very different, and that’s ok.
We are all living, and while our lives are intertwined and we impact those around us, we are better off living our lives the best that we can. Like we learn from the movie Cool Runnings, if you walk/talk/are Jamaican, you better bobsled Jamaican. If you are you, the best you that you can be, is you, not your interpretation of someone else’s version of what you think they think you should be. If that sounds confusing, good, it should be. I can be very confusing to try to wrap your mind around figuring out what you think other’s think you should think. Think for yourself, create your own standard, but create it and then work to be it. One of my favorite quotes sums it up, “You got to be what you is, ‘cause if you be what you ain’t, you ain’t what you is.”
One person looks at something and says it’s this way, another says it’s that way. It may be that they are both right/wrong. Many times there is no one right answer. I used to question myself because I would attempt to judge myself by some standard that I thought was out there and I didn’t understand it. I thought it was there, but it was a figment of my imagination. Yet, during that time that I thought it was there, it placed a great weight on me because I thought I would never measure up. It took me a while to finally get it through to myself that the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is our own, but not one that we create based on what we think other’s are thinking, one that actually makes sense in our heart of hearts. We should never be made to feel worse about ourselves because of our standard, apart from recognizing that there is constant and continual room for improvement. We can and should acknowledge other’s influences on the creation of our standard. If there is someone you admire and respect, it’s okay to seek for those in them that you admire and respect, but tailor it to you and make it make sense in your life.
Think of Aesop’s fables; the one about the crow who admired the peacocks and finally, in an attempt to be as fine as the birds he admired, he stuck peacock feathers into his tail to be like them. It didn’t work of course and they mocked and ridiculed him. The crow was just as fine a bird by being the best crow that he could be, he didn’t need to pretend or attempt to be any other type of bird. I think that (and this is my view entirely) people need to be okay with who/where they are at the current time to have strength and inner encouragement to work and move forward along the line to reaching one’s standard. We should be constantly seeking to improve, but according to our own strengths and desires, not someone else’s. I also think it is important to determine some specifics in our standards and our quest for improvement. Businesses recognize the benefit of achieving milestones in the completion of things, why should the principle differ for individuals. We are what we make of ourselves. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” Are you happy with what you get? If so, great, keep going. If not, what needs to be done differently? Do you actually know what you want to get so that you’ll be able to know what you need to do to get it? It’s very unlikely that you’ll ever be successful by judging yourself by another’s standard because our paradigms are very different, and that’s ok.
We are all living, and while our lives are intertwined and we impact those around us, we are better off living our lives the best that we can. Like we learn from the movie Cool Runnings, if you walk/talk/are Jamaican, you better bobsled Jamaican. If you are you, the best you that you can be, is you, not your interpretation of someone else’s version of what you think they think you should be. If that sounds confusing, good, it should be. I can be very confusing to try to wrap your mind around figuring out what you think other’s think you should think. Think for yourself, create your own standard, but create it and then work to be it. One of my favorite quotes sums it up, “You got to be what you is, ‘cause if you be what you ain’t, you ain’t what you is.”
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Random thoughts
I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately, in response to events, reading blogs, facebook, comments, etc. That’s not to say that I don’t have thoughts other times as well, it’s just that, of late, my thoughts are weighed down. I’ve never really been much of a person to share my thoughts and feelings, and I’m not sure I’m very good at it. I do want to share some things, not because I think they’ll be of value to anyone but myself, but only because I think if I don’t share, I’ll have a mental breakdown. I may have one anyway, but I do want to try to avoid it, I don’t have time for it.
To start with, I’d like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a song from the movie “Paint Your Wagon” if you haven’t seen it, see it. The words are these, “Where’m I goin’ I don’t know, when will I get there, I ain’t certain, all’s I know is I am on my way. … Oh, who gives a damn I’m on my way.” (Hope no one is offended)
Many of my thoughts have centered on our purpose in life and the journey we make during life. We are all on our way, most of us do know where we are going, and most of us have people who do care that we are on the way. Many people don’t know and don’t care where they are going and really don’t give a damn about those around them. Knowing where you are going and that you are on your way makes a difference, it truly does and just as much is knowing that people care.
I gave a talk recently in which I referred to the cartoon Dora that I “get” to watch with the kids occasionally. It is simplistic in its approach, after all, it’s for children. I used to get bothered by its simplicity, and would get caught up in telling myself that it isn’t that simple. Then, I found myself questioning why can’t it be that simple? The Lord wants us to be like children, the beauty of the gospel is in its simplicity, children know it, but because we adults like to complicate things, we try to complicate everything, even if it could and should be simple.
Life does get complicated, and busy, and stressful, and we get anxious, and nervous about things, and wonder which the heck way am I going and how did I end up going this way when I thought I was actually going another way and how do I … well, you get the idea. It can be hard to take a deep breath and untangle events and circumstances and things we need to do and get back to a simple view of life. It can take time to sort through things and get them organized, but it is well worth it.
Let’s see, where are my thoughts taking me? Into depths and realms that I would frankly rather not explore. I don’t like being or feeling vulnerable. I am uncomfortable at times with greater depths of emotions. Life can be predictable in so far as it is unpredictable and that things are guaranteed to change. This can knock us off our feet at times, but we all have a helping hand before us. As the young women’s song says, “Walk tall you’re a daughter, a child of God. Be strong please remember who you are. Try to understand, you’re part of His great plan. He’s closer than you know, reach up, He’ll take your hand.” And so, I’m reaching up, because He knows what I need, He knows what I’m feeling even if I can’t express it. Life may be complicated, but the gospel is simple, truth is simple. I’m on my way, I know where I’m going, and some people care, what more do I need?
To start with, I’d like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a song from the movie “Paint Your Wagon” if you haven’t seen it, see it. The words are these, “Where’m I goin’ I don’t know, when will I get there, I ain’t certain, all’s I know is I am on my way. … Oh, who gives a damn I’m on my way.” (Hope no one is offended)
Many of my thoughts have centered on our purpose in life and the journey we make during life. We are all on our way, most of us do know where we are going, and most of us have people who do care that we are on the way. Many people don’t know and don’t care where they are going and really don’t give a damn about those around them. Knowing where you are going and that you are on your way makes a difference, it truly does and just as much is knowing that people care.
I gave a talk recently in which I referred to the cartoon Dora that I “get” to watch with the kids occasionally. It is simplistic in its approach, after all, it’s for children. I used to get bothered by its simplicity, and would get caught up in telling myself that it isn’t that simple. Then, I found myself questioning why can’t it be that simple? The Lord wants us to be like children, the beauty of the gospel is in its simplicity, children know it, but because we adults like to complicate things, we try to complicate everything, even if it could and should be simple.
Life does get complicated, and busy, and stressful, and we get anxious, and nervous about things, and wonder which the heck way am I going and how did I end up going this way when I thought I was actually going another way and how do I … well, you get the idea. It can be hard to take a deep breath and untangle events and circumstances and things we need to do and get back to a simple view of life. It can take time to sort through things and get them organized, but it is well worth it.
Let’s see, where are my thoughts taking me? Into depths and realms that I would frankly rather not explore. I don’t like being or feeling vulnerable. I am uncomfortable at times with greater depths of emotions. Life can be predictable in so far as it is unpredictable and that things are guaranteed to change. This can knock us off our feet at times, but we all have a helping hand before us. As the young women’s song says, “Walk tall you’re a daughter, a child of God. Be strong please remember who you are. Try to understand, you’re part of His great plan. He’s closer than you know, reach up, He’ll take your hand.” And so, I’m reaching up, because He knows what I need, He knows what I’m feeling even if I can’t express it. Life may be complicated, but the gospel is simple, truth is simple. I’m on my way, I know where I’m going, and some people care, what more do I need?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Retrospection- what I've learned
Everyday I am faced with the passing of time. I watch my little ones grow and change and every time someone asks how old they are, it hits me how fast time flies. Sometimes it rocks me to my heels thinking about where the time has gone and how quickly it passes. My only hope is that it hasn't all been wasted. Which made me think about what I have done with my time, what have I learned in the time that has passed. Here goes:
What I've learned about me:
-I must be part pack horse (it is not uncommon to see me packing around one of the kids, especially Peter who loves piggy back rides and saying, "Run!")
-I prefer stability, structure, predictability but find them to be scarce commodities in my life right now.
-I don't mind doing the "chores" on the farm, but (an honest confession here) struggle with the daily tasks of keeping house.
-I am a major procrastinator.
-I don't like seeing people make fools of themselves because I dread the humility of making a fool of myself (this extends to movies, I highly dislike Steve Martin movies).
-I miss being a more integrated part of my family.
-I don't mind the flatness of Kansas anymore and I'm amazed at how much sky there is, and the colors out here, wow.
-I don't do repetition well.
-I love my husband and my children very much.
-I can do more than I think I can.
-"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me"
What I've learned about others:
-Kids are like dogs: they learn bad habits if you let them, they love unconditionally, and they chase anything that will run from them.
-You can learn a lot from children, if you can get over thinking that, because you're an adult you know more than they do.
-Kids naturally love to help (I'm learning to bite my tongue and just say, "that's okay, I can clean it up")
-Kids, at least mine, have a natural affinity for getting dirty and I say, "Let them!"
-Kids and animals go together.
-Most people need something to call their own, that they get recognition for, and that they can do well at.
-People are focused on their own insecurities, not yours.
-There are a great many good people in the world.
What I've learned in general:
-Big jobs are best done a little at a time.
-New things don't come easily.
-Brunettes can have blonde moments too (only I don't blame it on my hair, I throw in the "I have three kids" card and it usually works.)
-Time continues to pass, life goes on, and every minute that passes can bring something wonderful.
What I've learned about me:
-I must be part pack horse (it is not uncommon to see me packing around one of the kids, especially Peter who loves piggy back rides and saying, "Run!")
-I prefer stability, structure, predictability but find them to be scarce commodities in my life right now.
-I don't mind doing the "chores" on the farm, but (an honest confession here) struggle with the daily tasks of keeping house.
-I am a major procrastinator.
-I don't like seeing people make fools of themselves because I dread the humility of making a fool of myself (this extends to movies, I highly dislike Steve Martin movies).
-I miss being a more integrated part of my family.
-I don't mind the flatness of Kansas anymore and I'm amazed at how much sky there is, and the colors out here, wow.
-I don't do repetition well.
-I love my husband and my children very much.
-I can do more than I think I can.
-"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me"
What I've learned about others:
-Kids are like dogs: they learn bad habits if you let them, they love unconditionally, and they chase anything that will run from them.
-You can learn a lot from children, if you can get over thinking that, because you're an adult you know more than they do.
-Kids naturally love to help (I'm learning to bite my tongue and just say, "that's okay, I can clean it up")
-Kids, at least mine, have a natural affinity for getting dirty and I say, "Let them!"
-Kids and animals go together.
-Most people need something to call their own, that they get recognition for, and that they can do well at.
-People are focused on their own insecurities, not yours.
-There are a great many good people in the world.
What I've learned in general:
-Big jobs are best done a little at a time.
-New things don't come easily.
-Brunettes can have blonde moments too (only I don't blame it on my hair, I throw in the "I have three kids" card and it usually works.)
-Time continues to pass, life goes on, and every minute that passes can bring something wonderful.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Travels
From my facebook page:
"So many things in life seem like a dream and yet, are real, that it creates a grey line in determining what is real and what isn't. I went to Pennsylvania, Virginia, drove through Washington DC and all I have seems like a dream. I know it was real, I know it made sense at the time, but as time goes on, it seems unreal, so far removed from my current existence as to seem as if it couldn't have been real and must have been a dream."
Now, a comparison of the airports I had the "pleasure?" of visiting.
Getting back to Ellie, she was wonderful. The aloofness of city people is no match for a blue-eyed smiling baby. I don't know how many people smiled as they walked by, or how many people had to stop and make some conversation about her. And to see their faces when she would smile back, I know she made a lot of people very happy. However, the downside is, she got so used to being with me, that she is on a bit of a mommy kick. The other night, at Blaine and Linda's, I had to run downstairs. I heard her crying and fussing the whole time I was gone. They thought she had gas pain or a burp, or something actually wrong with her. When I came back upstairs, Blaine gave her to me and presto-stopped crying. It's nice to be loved and needed. Liahna and Peter still won't leave the room I'm in during the day, other than for five minutes here or there.
It was a fun trip. I got to get to know family better, see some sites around DC, and go through the DC temple, what more could I ask for? Plus, the best part is, I got to come home.
"So many things in life seem like a dream and yet, are real, that it creates a grey line in determining what is real and what isn't. I went to Pennsylvania, Virginia, drove through Washington DC and all I have seems like a dream. I know it was real, I know it made sense at the time, but as time goes on, it seems unreal, so far removed from my current existence as to seem as if it couldn't have been real and must have been a dream."
Now, a comparison of the airports I had the "pleasure?" of visiting.
- Wichita, for the simple reason that it is small and was so close to home when we came back, will be ranked top on my list.
- Minneapolis- far and away my favorite airport. It seemed cleaner and more user friendly to navigate. (Maybe that was because I beat James by sneaking on the tram and getting to the gate ahead of him, poor man had to carry Ellie the whole way."
- Washington Dulles- I felt like I was in a space movie with the big shuttles that took us from the baggage check-in point to the terminals. It wasn't too bad, once you got inside and were waiting at the gate, all the comforts of, well, an airport. Shops, food, books, bathrooms, you get the idea.
- Atlanta- I was just getting anxious to get home, didn't pay much attention. I will say I like the tram at Minneapolis better than the one here, you were above ground.
Getting back to Ellie, she was wonderful. The aloofness of city people is no match for a blue-eyed smiling baby. I don't know how many people smiled as they walked by, or how many people had to stop and make some conversation about her. And to see their faces when she would smile back, I know she made a lot of people very happy. However, the downside is, she got so used to being with me, that she is on a bit of a mommy kick. The other night, at Blaine and Linda's, I had to run downstairs. I heard her crying and fussing the whole time I was gone. They thought she had gas pain or a burp, or something actually wrong with her. When I came back upstairs, Blaine gave her to me and presto-stopped crying. It's nice to be loved and needed. Liahna and Peter still won't leave the room I'm in during the day, other than for five minutes here or there.
It was a fun trip. I got to get to know family better, see some sites around DC, and go through the DC temple, what more could I ask for? Plus, the best part is, I got to come home.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
temples
I think many individuals would consider James and I a bit strange. We recently had the opportunity of being around Washington D.C. What was our major interest? Not the monuments, the museums, etc. It was attending the temple there. The others are wonderful and I was glad to be able to drive around by them and I hope to visit again and see more of them. However, a trip to another temple is something I will cherish. The opportunity to get away from the world and renew myself is priceless. Thanks so much to Uncle Blane, Aunt Judy and cousin Linnea and her husband Pat.
Perhaps this video from the church will help explain our desires for the temple.
Perhaps this video from the church will help explain our desires for the temple.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
a chronicle of song snippets
Here are some of the more memorable snippets of songs from a couple of the DVDs which played at my house while Mom and Dad were visiting. Maybe by sharing them online, I'll be able to get them out of my head. So, no more dilly-dallyin' let's get started.
"Gotta crawl, gotta crawl, gotta crawl, to the ugly bug ball, to the ball, to the ball, and a happy time we'll have there, one and all, at the ugly bug ball."
"No shilly-shallyin', no dilly-dallyin', let's have a drink on it now!"
"Detrooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, detrooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, DetrOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!"
"What's wrong with that?!"
"There are those, I suppose."
"You must walk feminine, talk feminine, smile and be girl feminine. Maximize your femininity, if you want to catch a beau... Let him do the talking, men adore good listeners. Laugh, but not loudly, if by chance he tells a joke."
"And she thinks she's the pink of perfection" with the resulting, "She's not knock-kneed Nancy."
"I'm just a little black rain cloud, hovering under a honey tree. I'm just a little black rain cloud, pay no attention to little me."
"Up, down, turn around it puts me in the mood. for food.. I improve my appetite when I excercise."
"You must be oh-so, mysterioso. ... to the rythm of by-um-pum-pum."
"Fortuosity, that's me by-word... and leave the rest to for-tu-o-si-ty."
Believe it or not, these all came from only three DVDs. I'll give you a brownie point if you can match the song with the movie. The movies are:
The happiest millionaire
Summer Magic
Winnie the Pooh
"Gotta crawl, gotta crawl, gotta crawl, to the ugly bug ball, to the ball, to the ball, and a happy time we'll have there, one and all, at the ugly bug ball."
"No shilly-shallyin', no dilly-dallyin', let's have a drink on it now!"
"Detrooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, detrooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, DetrOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!"
"What's wrong with that?!"
"There are those, I suppose."
"You must walk feminine, talk feminine, smile and be girl feminine. Maximize your femininity, if you want to catch a beau... Let him do the talking, men adore good listeners. Laugh, but not loudly, if by chance he tells a joke."
"And she thinks she's the pink of perfection" with the resulting, "She's not knock-kneed Nancy."
"I'm just a little black rain cloud, hovering under a honey tree. I'm just a little black rain cloud, pay no attention to little me."
"Up, down, turn around it puts me in the mood. for food.. I improve my appetite when I excercise."
"You must be oh-so, mysterioso. ... to the rythm of by-um-pum-pum."
"Fortuosity, that's me by-word... and leave the rest to for-tu-o-si-ty."
Believe it or not, these all came from only three DVDs. I'll give you a brownie point if you can match the song with the movie. The movies are:
The happiest millionaire
Summer Magic
Winnie the Pooh
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